Aisles and
aisles of red in the stores. Married and partnered folks are wooed anew by
florists, jewelers, restaurants, and the like, enticed (and guilted?) into
buying gifts and meals for their significant other. Singles are offered
unsolicited dating advice on every major website. Ah, yes. Valentine's Day
must be coming. I wonder what the original Saint Valentine would think about
all this. (See the history of Valentine's Day included in this issue of the
Weaver.) In the "O" magazine, Oprah Winfrey has a column called "One Thing I
Know For Sure." In that spirit, I offer my humble and humbling understanding
of love.
As a single woman, I've had two major
reactions to the annual Valentine's Day juggernaut: hang out with other
single people, or try to ignore it altogether. How do the widowed and
divorced handle the extravaganza that is Valentine's Day? Since last year,
I've tried to remember, on Valentine's Day and everyday, that while I don't
experience romance a lot, I experience love daily. Romance is lovely, and
makes for sweet memories. But love, as you know, is demanding. It's tough,
even when you love your child or your partner with all your heart. True love
demands effort and giving for the benefit of the beloved. I knew as a child
that my mother loved me because she worked hard to give me a good education
and opportunities in life. I know my father loved me because he was generous
to me, and I could depend on his help when I was struggling. The first
letter to the church in Corinth has a beautiful but daunting definition of
love in chapter 13. Hearts and roses are pale sentimental images for a very
selfless and severe practice. For the Christian, love is a verb, acted out
in fidelity and obedience to God, and in generosity of spirit and deep wells
of patience toward other people. |
The bible shows us that the ultimate lover
is God. I know that I am loved, not because I've received flowers, but
because I've received forgiveness.
One thing I know for sure: True love, like
grace, is a gift freely given, and I am just the blessed recipient. God
offered the ultimate gift-Jesus Christ-and in accepting that gift, I have
gratitude, salvation, and peace. Another thing I know for sure: to be
recognized as a follower of Jesus, Christ demands that we behave in
supremely loving ways. We can talk a good game about the love of God and
Christian love, but if we continue to be hard-hearted toward others, those
words fall flat. A simple, but powerful way to show love is simply to
listen. To listen is giving your time, attention, and respect to another.
The Great Commandment (Matt. 22:36-39 and parallels) calls for us to show
love in two directions: loving God and loving our neighbors as ourselves.
In prayer and meditation, in studying the bible and obeying God's commands,
we love God by giving our time and listening. It's a patient, kind, and
loving act to listen-not persuade, not contradict, but listen-to our family
members and friends, even when we don't agree with them. As a counselor, I
know that counseling is helpful not because counselors have any magic, but
because listening is caring and heals the one who is heard. Let us do small
things with great love, as Mother Teresa said, thereby worshiping God in all
that we do.
In the name of Jesus, lover of our souls.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Have a Blessed New Year!
--Angela
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